one of the best reviews i read..

(this is from urban dictionary )
Cathcer

Catcher in the Rye is about some phony named Holden Caulfield. He goes around talking to kids and trying to give girls the time. That kills me. And he always talks about his dead brother and how great his goddam sister is and all. I think he's some big phony. He's always talking about how annoying everyone else is and how he wants to save kids and run away to live in the goddam woods, but he does the same thing everyone else does. I get quite a bang out of that. He'll probably be the kind of guy who always talks about how many miles he gets in his goddam car. What a phony. He's probably flitty. I mean he can never get really sexy with a girl. You know, really sexy. I can be very sexy sometimes. Women kill me. Anyway, he really drove me crazy while I was reading all about him, but after a while I started to miss him. You know, how when you have to shoot the crap with some phony about how they want to run off and live in the woods, but then you don't see them for a few weeks and you start to think what a nice guy they are. You probably don't understand. You're probably the kind of guy who posts stuff you think is funny on some phony website. Like that Oscar Wilde phony. That kills me. It really does. Reminds me of a phony I once knew, some mac who just came up with fake quotations nobody really give a damn about. It was a sad occurence though, it really was. You know the part that really got me. The part that sometimes he was actually funny. Stuff like that always kills me. ...

(captured the essence and the flavour of the book!)

Happy Blah Blah Day

happy fathers day
happy mothers day
happy friendship day
happy womens day
happy valentines day
happy doctors day
happy wot-not day

Marketing scams!.. big marketing scams.. The only people who make us remember that these days are important days in our lives are the people on T.V , media, people selling pizzas, movies, greeting cards, ice creams, chocolates, and other such accessories which on any other day would seem like a waste of time rather then the need of the hour. All of a sudden, on these days, people have cravings for a coffee, pizzas or feel like watching a movie with or buying gifts for their cherished ones. Well, if u need a calander date to remind you of your cherished ones, you are better off without them.!

The people on the T.V and other broadcast media like radio or newsprint are the ones who seem to be most interested in these seemingly important part of our lives. They make it their moral resposibility to make us realise that "you are so much lost in your useless wretched life, working day in day out like a dog that you have forgotten your cherished ones, your family , your friends, so you need a day to remind them that you do rememeber them. Here,we have created an opporutnity for you and all you have to do is buy the products we are advertising, because this is the only way you can express your heartfelt emotions for them. Buy them a card, share a pizza, watch a movie, buy a new shirt, coz this is the only day in the entire year you can do it, rest of the days are not so good for such activites, for expressing your sentiments (if you have any) or for getting back to your loved ones"

The worst part is, you cannot avoid these bashers however hard you try. Pick up the paper, turn on the t.v, turn on the radio, and lo! there they are , announcing their presence loud and clear. You walk into a mall, a coffee shop, a pizza joint, a restaurant, anywhere and you'll see this big sign boards, hoardings announcing the commencement of these events well couple of weeks ahead. Special offers on these days, discounts, lucky draws and all other alluring tricks in the book. Well, if they are going to "celebrate" these days, i'd like to vote for a few days I'd surely like to "celebrate"
Happy:
-mind your own business day

-don't bug me day

-leave me alone day

-give piece of your mind day

-hug beautiful gals day

-get laid day

-swear day

The way these days should be celebrated are self-explainatory, the name says it all. The only trouble is... how does one come up with marketing stratergies to promote these. hmm.. i wonder

‘Give SC/ST students more shots at JEE’

As the elections are coming closer, the government is coming up with novel ideas to uplift the nation. The only way that this can be achieved it seems is giving the so called unprivileged classes more chance to enter into the highest education institutes in the country, as if that was the first priority of the 'unprivilege' class. Why dosen't the government think of giving them free cable T.V, free internet, or say free train tickets, cheap flight ticktes, discounted rates at Pizza Huts and McDs, discounted Pepsi and other Cola drinks. If getting higher education is so necessary, I guess these things would also count as necessary. Why dont they have discounted rates at 3-star and 5-star hotels too, that way they can afford thngs like that and thus get more acceptability in the society.

I have a better idea. Why don't these buggers come up with different question papers for them.. Lets make the system even more favourable. Say from the class First itself the method of conducting papers should be in this format

Set A : for general class
Set B : for OBC
Set C : for SC/ST

I have even thought of typical questions for Set C

Q1) Can you write your name : Y/N ____

Q2) (optional) Write your name:______

Q3) 2+2: _____ (carries extra marks)

Q4) Which is far, moon/sun :______ (Hint: It is not moon)

ending with a thanks note : The government wants to thank you for taking your precious time and putting efforts to complete the paper. Wish us and the country all the best

Fair enough?

An advertisement on TV shows a girl trying to get a job, but due to are natural complexion, a brown one, she is rejected for the job. She tries some cream, 10 days.. or 14 days (different companies claim different periods), and viola!! she turns like a beauty contest contestant over a fortnight.. and gets the job.!

Beauty magazines and fairness creams have been promoting and glorifying fair skin ever since i have been watching television. Ponds, Lakme, Revelon, Garnier, Nivea are some of the major players who have been instrumental in marketing these so called "fairness " cream. With advertisements depicting people with fair skins are more successful than the not-so-faired one, the marketing strategies have become more and more inexorable. The worst thing is, a "developing" country like ours, proves a more potent market for such products. And we call the American and Brits as racist.?? What are we then.? Having accepted these ads, having accepted that people with fair skin are superior to the one with not-so-fair, how do we call them racist.? Whats worse is that, after the advent of this new species called "metrosexual men", these creams have now started to target the males too.! Ads showing guys with fair skin being able to woo girls, or get the female attraction has been the chief propaganda.! What happened to the "tall dark handsome" fellow?? what happened to the tanned skin toned girls?

I don't understand but why we have this tendency to believe or trust a fair (the skin tone and not the persons intentions) person more easily than the one with say not-so-fair, or brown or dark complexion?? Is is the word "fair" attached to it? Is it since white is related to pureness and black to dark? Is it, since we were ruled by the whites and the sense of superiority has not yet left us? Or even worse.. that they really are superior? i really wonder...

My phobias.

there are some of the things which i suffer from, say it disease or mental limitations, but i do have my own fears. here are a few i can enumerate.
1) dumbophobia.: i describe it as fear of dumb people. people whom you would rather avoid than talk. Talk with them is a challenge to human mental endurance limits. Over contact to these people can lead to pulling of hairs, going eeeeeekkkkk !!, or even thoughts of murdering these people. I try to avoid such people as a safety precaution for them.

2) hysterophobia: Walking with tranquility, with your mind humming "i can see clearly now the rain is gone" , and all of a sudden you ever heard an high frequency sound out of nowhere, as if someone was attacked by Frankenstein. On close scrutiny you discover that some female species of the human kind had encountered a harmless little cockroach on her way, which made her shriek at decibel levels that were unacceptable to human hears. I actually fear such species, not the cockroach , but the one that shrieked. I fear them coz it simply make me go berserk, feel like hitting the notorious shrieker. They can't differentiate if they were attacked by an cockroach or a T-Rex.!

3)too-fast-too-friendly phobia: have you encountered people who are too fast to friendly types, the ones you are likely too meet on a train or bus or maybe some other public place. Before you realize the person is spilling his stories, his accomplishments, woes and worries before you. I fear them, i really fear them. I usually bury my face in a book or a newspaper to avoid such person. They start expressing their views so loudly that you could go deaf! I normally try to avoid such scenarios.. i really can't handle it, i am not the too fast too friendly type.

4) I-forgot-your-name- ophobia: Ever been to a marriage, a social gathering where you meet this uncle/a of yours you were introduced in the last social gathering, you kinda remember their face but dont know what their name was.? What do you do.? you end up talkin to them in a nice friendly manner without having a clue who they are.! I have a fear for such situations. Not only in family circles, such a scenario can happen anywhere, anytime. You are standing in a queue, be it a movie ticket or a railway ticket, and all off a sudden you see a face that disturbs your gray cells, tells you that you have met this person and don't remember where, and all of a sudden the person calls out your name, loud and clear and you don't know how to respond.! All you end up doin is "hey.! Hi there.!" makin the silliest of grins you can come up with, and talk to them for the next 20 minutes of your life without having any idea who the person was. Asking them their name would be too rude, impolite and you can't do it.! I Still dont know haw to come out of this situation.

i have few more i would not want to go in details.
5) Mushyphobia : Fear of the mushy types

6)Prudeophodia: Fear of the unnecessarily acting prudes

The worst part is.. they are all around , one just can't escape.! God give me the strength to overcome these ordeals.

The 3 questions..

After 2 yrs into a ph.d, ya, you can gauge the boring and uninteresting nature of mine, there are 3, yes 3 questions that one should not ask a ph.d student. Besides not having a clear precise answer, these questions touch (read hurt) the integrity of a grad student to the very downright. These questions, I consider more manner less then asking a lady her age.

Q1) "Hmm.. how many publications you said that was.??"
Come on! thats us as rude as asking a guy how much he earned (unless he earns like Bill Gates). The question touches the very conscious of the poor grad student. It makes him* feel more pathetic than already he is. It hurts..!

Q2) "When are you thinking of getting married then!?"
No.. Never, yes never put that question (unless he is already married). He already has something that demands constant attention, makes do crazy things, keeps him awake at nights and makes feel that life would be better without it. One would not want to feel all these over again.

Q3)" oh! doing a ph.d. so when are you finishing, completing your ph.d.?"
Ever heard the term 'God Forbid' .?? ya thats the .. mot juste here. Do not ask it, its rude, outrageous and also totally uneasy for the poor guy. Its like asking..... i can't think of one thing that i can compare this situation to, and you know why.? coz there isn't a more morally hurting a question than this one.


One should at all costs avoid these questions. please.

* all hims and hes can be replaced by him/her or even a her if the reader feels anything discriminating towards the other sex. I am no sexist, but believe me , its too much of trouble writing him/her everytime .

waste and haste

Some of the things that are bound to happen with me when i m in a hurry.

Things that will be invariably lost/mispalced
keys (now. whr did i keep them.. :-?)
cellphone
comb
watch
wallet.

other shit that happens
spilling of water (thr goes the shirt.. no hav to change it.. damn.!)
getting a phone call that will eat atleast 8-10 minutes (err.. ok. ya.. i c .. can we talk this some other time)
socks are smelling and don't have a replacement (yuk.... )
cycle tyres don't have enough pressure (damn again!)
auto rickshaws seem to go on a strike (ma friend murphy is smiling.. )

itsy bitsy stuff that can irritate you enough to start pulling your hair...