Part- 1
"hello sir/madam we i am calling from
dont-trust-us bank"
"err.. hello"
"sir are bank is offering loans/credit cards at lowest/free rates"
"o.k"
"Sir you have been nominated/selected for our
you-suck scheme"
"But i din't nominate"
"Sir its a random selection procedure. Only the lucky ones get selected"
"oh.. I See..!"
Does the conversation rings any bells.?? Of course it does. I Don't think if anyone is spared from the likes of telemarketers. They can ring you up anytime anyplace. People normally get annoyed or a frown appears on their face when talking to them. Normally the conversation ends with "Sorry I am not interested, thank you".
Even i used to get annoyed. But of late I have started enjoying it (sometimes to the point that i wish some telemarketer would call). Instead of getting vexed with these callers, try to give it back to them. How?? as soon as you realize its them, start firing questions as fast as you can as many as you can. Here are few of my favorites.
Which bank did you say?? Can you spell it for me?( they normally do.. they don't have other options)
How old is it ?? When and where was it established?
(huh.!! sorry sir that i am not sure of...)
who are the board of directors?
(huh. err.. mmm ...)
Do YOU have a credit card from the bank?
have YOU taken a loan??
(if yes then ask somthng else)
(if no.. tell them you are trying to sell me something you yourself don't believe or trust..!!)
Keep on answering everything by. "So..." The other pesron will come to a point when he will have no clue what to say.!
Ask them why are you trying to sell it to him..??Ask him if he is enjoying this..?
If its a girl, i tell them i am talking to you since no girls call me and apparently you are the only on who calls me. Thank her for calling.
by this time the other person is sure to hang up.
Part-2(cellphone rings, its an unidentified number, you don't know who is it)
"Hello"
"Hello. post-office. I needed to know whether i can.. " (you cut short the converation)
"sorry wrong number"
Wrong numbers can be fun too. For a short period of your pathetic life you could be someone else. Talk with the other person. You can be a banker, a Roy, a hotel manager. anything the other person is looking for. some of the nice ones i can remember are
"hello
some-name-i-dont-know"
"hello
"
"i needed tractors for tilling land"
"oh sure. how many ?"
"two"
"sure i'll send them right away! just tell me ur address"
"
some place i dont have a clue abt"
"They will be there in an hour or so".
after half an hour i had a call from the same person
"Sir those tractors have no yet reached"
"oh.! its a heavy rush out there. They will be there soon"
I never got a call back. Still am wondering how did those tractors reach?
Then there was this guy who called me in the morning (i hate wen people do that)
"hello sakharam..!"
"err yes"
"could you send some bananas over here"
"mmm.. sure, how many?"
"about 3- dozens"
(3-dozens.!! y would a someone want 3-dozens of bananas this early, i wondered..)
"oh sure.. i'll send them straight away"
never did i hear a complain that the bananas din't reach him, still a mystery..
There are many other instances, but these are the ones coming to my mind right now..
Labels: phone, shit happens, wrong numbers
